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This tragic event plays out far too often and on rare occasions the outcome is tragic. She never comes home. Does it matter that the statistics show that you are seven times more likely to be struck by lightning than to have this worst case scenario happen in your life? NO! It does not, for the loss of even one of our children in this manner is unacceptable.
Let’s continue this story and see what happens next.
~~~~~~~
Within hours the media has picked up the story. You are an emotional wreck and these people are there to help you find your child. But the sad reality is that it is all about ratings and sensationalism, but at this time you don’t care.
You look at the announcer as she says the words that cut to your heart. Her voice compassionate and concerned, she begins. “A 16 year old Pleasant City girl, Millie Doe is missing and authorities need your help! Please call 555-5555…” At least someone is trying to help. But you can’t help but notice that the announcer was able to smile happily when she quickly moved on to the next story about a dog that was rescued. You wish you could even force a smile. Nonetheless, the word is out.
*****
The minutes pass by and every sound is heightened. It has been three days since you slept. Your lawn is covered with reporters. It is a big story. Somewhere in the back of your mind you feel like your tragedy is being used for the profit of these vultures, but they are spreading the word and perhaps someone will come forward and your daughter will come home to you.
*****
Days have turned into weeks and a numbness has set in. The police have a few leads but nothing new is happening. The reporters have left to cover another big story. She’s only mentioned now and then in the news reports. People are forgetting. Your fear has become part of your life. How could someone hurt my child? Why GOD? Why? Please bring her home!
*****
Friends tell you to eat something; you have lost weight. You don’t care. Your world is ending.
The phone rings. It has a different sound. You hesitate as if you know. “Hello.” Your emotions spike as you hear the words. You fall to your knees, your heart ready to burst, your stomach in knots. “NO! NO dear GOD no……”
*****
The night is silent but your mind cannot erase the images. You cry all the time and when you are alone you sit with the blinds drawn and the lights off.
*****
In the days that follow the reporters return. They capture your every emotion and then they move on. You try to make sense of it. You walk into her room and break down and cry. Darkness is all you feel.
*****
Weeks pass and she is forgotten to the world as new big stories top the ratings. But you have not forgotten, you remember her. You always will. Fickle world we live in.
The phone rings. The police have suspect, a registered sex offender. “A what… she was what? OH GOD he did what to my baby…..” A sickening feeling comes over you. You run to the bathroom and vomit. The unfathomable has just been dropped in your lap and the words resonate in your ears. Your mind tries not to think of it, but you cannot hide from the images that paint themselves so vividly across shattered psyche. The terror she went through…….
*****
The phone rings. It is a representative for a legislator. He explains that registered sex offenders are four time more like to commit another sex crime than non sex offenders. Four times! You think, GOD why are they on the streets!
You now have a target on which to unleash your anger and pain. You are aided by the media who are once again camping on your lawn. There is also a legislator who is very concerned and trying to help you. Long before the accused man ever goes to trial a plan is set in place to ensure this never happens again. A new law, named after your daughter will save all like her. She will be remembered.
The law will target the maggots that did this to her. They will pay, ALL of them!
~~~~~~~
What just happened here? What took place? Fear and hurt have changed into anger and that anger has been fueled by the media and a legislator. We understand the anger; it is justified. But we have seen how fickle the media is, so what are they getting out of this? Ratings. They are making money off this tragedy and if you do not believe that just wait until the next big story. They will leave you and go where the ratings are.
What about the politician? Surely he has good intentions. If that were only true. If you recall that first communication with his staff and that statistic that was quoted to you. It was true, but that statistic was not explained to you. It was not explained that registered former sex offenders are less likely than all other classes of criminals to be rearrested for any crime. But that does not ease your pain, does it. It still remains.
~~~~~~
Things are moving fast now. The law is progressing and you are pushing it at every opportunity. Having this cause has helped you get through these emotionally trying times. Each time you give a speech where you go after these predators, it is like castrating the man who killed her. If only you could. But his will have to do.
At this point I want to turn this discussion as we know the outcome. A new law is passed that targets every person on the registry. So now please follow along with me as I make a comparison.
You feel a chest pain. You ignore it. Indigestion. It worsens and you realize it’s a heart attack. You call 911. An ambulance arrives. You are rushed to the hospital. After several hours you are stable. The doctor explains that you were lucky, you have high blood pressure and high cholesterol. He puts you on a diet and a specific medication based on your specific needs.
Now, years later you are doing fine. You are in good health to the point that you no longer need medication. It has been 10 years since your heart attack and you know more about proper nutrition and exercise. At your last physical your doctor noted that you are in better health than most people twenty years younger. You are in no danger of another heart attack.
Weeks later, far across the country a man you do not know has a heart attack. He dies before doctors can save him. In the aftermath it is pointed out that those who have had a heart attack in the past are at greater risk of another heart attack than those who have never had a heart attack (true statistic).
A new law is passed in memory of that man and soon you are forced to take a new medication. You are restricted by law from certain foods. It is also determined that in a rare cases flying is a danger, so you are now restricted from flying.
You immediately go to your doctor and ask why this is happening to you. You did not have another heart attack! Your doctor tells you that he personally spoke with those who made the law. He told them this was simply the wrong approach, and explained that allowing experts in the field to manage each case individually was the wisest thing to do. But no one listened to him. Now you life is ruined and each time another person has a heart attack you are restricted more and more. Some of these restrictions unjustly put a heavy burden on your family.
Do you see the comparison here? Why do we target a whole group of people when something tragic happens? Is it a natural outlet for anger? Why do we ignore experts in the field who keep telling us that the approach we are take is wrong? Why do we not look at each case individually and why do we punish ALL when only one is responsible for the crime.
Yes, we understand the emotions involved. We also understand the players in the game. But we also know that it is not healthy for a family who has been devastated by a loss such as this to be cast into the spotlight, rather than having time to deal with the pain and anger in order to recover mentally and emotionally. Their pain and anger begins to rule their lives. It becomes who they are and only they know the true toll it is taking on them.
As a people we must start a dialogue, one centered on facts and led by experts. When tragedy strikes should we target every person who falls into a certain class, or should we punish only the person guilty? If you think this is a tough question then ask yourself. Is this kind of profiling and retribution deal out to any other class of offender? And please consider further that in the worst case scenario we are talking about MURDER and yet it is not murderers that we target.
Another fact must be interjected at this point. Registered former sex offenders have nearly the same re-offense rate as murderers. A recent study in California found that number to be 3.8%. And a study from the department of Justice found that about 94.7% of former offenders will not commit ANY other crime. And since the worst case scenario accounts for only 0.2% of all abductions and 0.00002% of all the sex crimes committed by those on the registry why are we targeting every former sex offender? Because we need to blame someone. Punishing the person responsible is just not enough. (Percentages derived from the DOJ and Study by, U.S. Department of Justice Office of Justice Programs Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention)
It is time to bring in the experts and remove the decision making process from grieving families and politicians that have a political bias. Though we sympathize with their cause and feel angry that this has happened to their children, they are ill-equipped to make good choices when it comes to managing issues that are exceedingly diverse. A one size fits all approach is not working and it is irresponsible. Please, let the doctors do their jobs.
R. English COO SOSEN Inc.