So just what is SOSEN all about? — Why would a person want to join this organization? There have been some discussions within the secure forums about just that particularly issue. It emphasized that while many new members join SOSEN every year, we also have many that move on to work with other organizations. Here is what some of our members have said when one of the members talked about leaving the group.

I was going to write a whole essay on how our family has survived the very precarious life of an RSO family. I wanted to tell those who would want to leave that perhaps they did not shout loud enough to be heard above the dramas of all of us who are here.

For those who do not feel loved and cared for here I suggest to become MORE involved so we will get to know you better. Why? Because every single one of us have so many problems that we become self-centered and guess what! We need you! We need other people to care about us too because we are going through the very same battles in life that you are.

So, in return I could say – no, I’m not happy with any organization, I don’t think anybody could make me happy or change my life or even know how to figure out how to make my life better. This includes SOSEN. So, why do I stay? I stay because I know that what I give comes back to me. So, I give what I can. I stay because I know that people here really DO CARE and I stay because I want to help the cause, to help other people. I stay because I know that no matter how much drama I have in my life that is created by RSO laws I know that others are going through the very same thing and I want to help them.

Lately I have been sick and I really feel the shift of things in contrast to those days when I had more energy and could give more. But how could I blame Sosen people for the lack of attention if I’m not even around for them to notice? If I have drama, so do they, so do you and we are all pretty overwhelmed with the RSO laws and with the treatment of non-RSO’s who are loved ones/family – so we are in survival mode – quite literally, and when we are in survival mode we don’t notice the problems of other people unless they put it out there right in front of our faces.

So, I suggest to join the people at Sosen and get to know them and you will find that you can make friends and feel loved and cared for.

I know one of the reasons I like being involved in SOSEN is due to the Differences in the people here. It is healthy to read about other peoples’ experiences, and to see things from different perspectives. If I stayed in my own little world, I think that I might go crazy.

“Sex offenders” are NOT a homogeneous group. I haven’t given any though as to what anyone who comes here has done to land on the registry. However, there are people here who may have committed rape or abused a child. Some may have just pissed behind a dumpster, some may have been a “Romeo” (if you’ve been here a while you should know the lingo), and some may have been viewing questionable material. Others may have simply been accused of something they didn’t do.

Everyone also has their own motivation for coming here. Some only want to fight for Romeos, some only care they get off the registry, and some (like me) fight for freedom for ALL who have served their sentences. We simply won’t agree on everything. Hell, there’s even people here I can’t stand!

HOWEVER, there is NO place on the Internet that offers what SOSEN offers, a place where registrants and their loved ones can come to, in a secure environment, and voice their opinions; not even RSOL offers that! When people call me looking for support groups, SOSEN is the first place that comes to mind. Is it perfect? No, but it is the best lace available for those who want to speak freely without having to be judged by trolls like Valigator.

If you are looking for a place where everyone matches your world view on every matter, you will find yourself in a very, very small group. The few groups that are issue-specific tend to be very enclosed and they don’t offer anything for people just wanting to share experiences.

As far as a list we all agree on, I doubt we’d find a 100% consensus on any issue. Amazingly enough, there are a few activists who believe the registry is not a bad thing and it only needs to be reformed. I say scrap the damned thing.

6 comments for “WHY JOIN S.O.S.E.N

  1. Adam K
    November 13, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    I am a convicted sex offender in Albuquerque. I have burned all my bridges here. I was convicted in 1996. They are not letting me move on with my life. Me and my girlfriend of almost nine years wish to relocate to a city where I would be considered a low risk. What city if any will give me a chance at vocational rehabilitation and let me live in a decent place to call home. Or should I commit suicide?

    • Linda D.
      November 22, 2014 at 2:58 pm

      Adam K., your post broke my heart. I am a mother of a RSO, and he is currently in Prison. He was talked into dating the girl by the mother, and the father (the ex-husband), reported it. The girl, was throwing rocks at our windows, leaving notes etc., after we bailed him out. I reported it to the states attorney, and requested a restraining order. He said she was not a danger to my son. He is immature, and is 24, she was 16. When the police came, he told the truth. He did have sex with her, on 2 occasions, since he has never even had a speeding ticket, he did not realize, the truth does not set you free. I resent the fact, that nothing happened to the mother. I wish he would of been smarter, but here we are. It’s sad, because the only person that pays the price is the men.
      Please, please do not ever commit suicide. My first husband of 10 years did that, and the affect on his children, 14 and 11, was never to be overcome. I will pray for you and your girlfriend. I don’t know where it is best to live, as I am new to all of this. I was 5 years old when I was molested by my grandfather, so I have been on both sides of the coin. I feel for you, and no matter what, please do not harm yourself. I always remind my son that Jesus was hated, and treated terrible, and he had never done anything wrong. Peace be with you. I’m so sorry for your circumstances.

  2. James
    November 14, 2014 at 2:13 am

    The information on this site has helped me a great deal

  3. David
    December 11, 2014 at 3:49 am

    Adam, please don’t harm yourself. If you are willibg and able to move, I would recommend California to you. Try a large city where you are more anonymous. The State’s Employment Services helped me get my first job here – and it was a good, decent job (pay was fine & mgmt. was excellent & compassionate). Even finding housing was not difficult. (I suggest seeking out smaller mom & pop landlords who may not run a criminal background check if they only have a few duplex units, etc.)
    One final suggestion to any RSO trying to re-establish a normal life: you need to be so plain and normal that you draw no attention to yourself. So cover (or remove) any prison tattoos. If you drive a red sports car, switch to a bland white or gray Chevy. Get a boring haircut! Don’t draw attention to yourself. Until you are better established with a good job & stable housing, try to fly under the radar.
    Good luck. Be strong. You’re not alone. It does get better …. and your first step may be to get out of New Mexico.

  4. George McIntosh
    January 2, 2015 at 8:09 am

    My son is rso and was jest been violated on a bs change this happens every year about November, December then he gets sent back to prison for three months to a year and then he starts the hole program over, it seams like there’s never going to be a end to it. My mom, dad and both of my brothers have all past away. It’s more painful and harder to deal with than the death of a loved one and it keeps happening over and over. why do they do this I’m losing it. AND the charge that started it all was bs

  5. Scott
    January 10, 2015 at 9:02 pm

    OK, i am not sure if Adam K will see this but here goes something of encouragement. Adam, please understand that their are people out their in your same situation. I for one felt as low as you were once. I don,t know what your beliefs are spiritually but with all this that was going on, as did with mine, I decided to rather than keep saying oh my god, help me, I decided,.maybe I should chase after him. I did. I ended up with a bible from someone donating it to me. I read the book of john first. IF you can seek out a church that is willing to give you chance. I woudn,t recommend going every Sunday to the service. I would ask about bible studies with other men. They also have a series called celebrate recovery which is used in some churches.

    I have done this myself and I am at more of peace with myself and find it a bit easier that I have to accept what is handed to me. I,ve been rejected by my own extended family on both sides. (Aunts, uncles cousins and even friends) I have come to realize, I can,t change people, only God can. As long as you do what you need to do to change your inner self, I believe in time people will see your not such a bad person after all.

    It is OK to feel like you do but whatever you do NEVER accept the thought that committing suicide is the answer. Life is short enough as it is and we need people like you to stand up and speak out. We all have a purpose in life and You have a Purpose. It may seem like we don,t but we really do. It just takes time and a little effort. Let’s stand together on this. I hope this finds you well and gives some insight to any others who are feeling the same way.

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