At times many of us on the registry have a tendency to only see the dark side of our existence. It’s hard to pick your head up and look for the light when people are standing on your neck. But it can be done, Scott is one of our SOSEN members, he has had his share of hard breaks. But the way that he continues to pick himself up no matter how many people are trying to push him down into the mud makes me proud to call him my close friend and comrade in this fight. –Will Bassler.–
There’s a lot of people who tend to look at me sideways quite often. Perhaps it’s my innate ability to seemingly come across like I am better than someone else, or my demeanor of having a narcissistic attitude. Either way, most days I couldn’t be bothered with what others think of me. Although, it seems that the number of individuals who look at me in a way that’s seems they are asking “Who do you think you are?”, is constantly growing. Perhaps it’s time I set the record straight.
I posted a rather innocent photograph in a group SMS today, which was simply my motorcycle and a gourmet cup of coffee, I captioned the photograph, “Sometimes I can’t help but be pretentious”. The backlash that ensued was quite funny to say the least. It did, however, get me thinking that “If that’s how they view me so be it”.
Quite simply, I do view myself as better than most. I’ve got a negatively viewed criminal background, yes, but I’ve also beaten every odd that I have faced in my life. I have walked down my time on PNP, but it started many… many years before that. Shunned by a biological family, adopted and abused by them for countless years. Emancipated myself, got my GED and joined the army, where during my time overseas I faced odds that in my mind were comparable to King Leonidas and his three hundred Spartans, again I lived through it. Came home broken and picked myself up after several stumbles to find myself in tech school, where against the odds of not having a real prior education I graduated in the top three students in the school. Came home and shortly after hit the lowest low with my criminal history, everything was ending. Yet, I could not let myself stay down, when others would see me fail or give up themselves, I fought on and I survived. For a second time I went to college and now hang an associate in business on my wall right next to every victory I have gained along my way. After years of fighting battle after battle in my life and never having a family to belong to, I created my own last name, my own legacies. A name that will forever stand out and have true meaning to my life. Vargr, an ancient Nordic word for wolf. An animal that weathers any storm, climbs every hill and faces every darkness.
There are some who look at things like my tattoos, which a few I share with other women who have been in my life and make their own snide remarks about them. My body is a journal and all my scars and tattoos are but the story of my life along the way. Some look at me with my PTSD and a TBI, my worn back and knees, my failing hearing and other ailments I have in my life and see nothing more than someone who didn’t live a healthy life, they are right to some degree. Yet, I look in the mirror and see a warrior who despite the trials of life has stayed steadfast on a path to greatness.
I know where I’ve been in my life, the memories haunt my every moment in life, but I also know where I am going in my life, and that future is brighter than any dark past. To have the beautiful woman I have by my side is most days the greatness I had always wished to achieve, but there is always more. More to fight for and build, more victories and greatness to achieve not by myself now, but together as a family. They ask me “who do you think you are?”, I know who I am, who do you think YOU are?