Isn’t the long road hard enough.

I am sharing this because I think there are injustices in the system that need to be looked at and addressed. Among those things are the use of lies and myths that are based on emotion to pass laws against people who in reality have the lowest re-conviction rate of all the criminal classes for a repeat similar type of crime. The use of a group or class as a political scapegoat that has grown so far out of proportion and control and has stripped constitutional rights from that class, and if not stopped will carry over into other groups and classes and because of that it is now seen by many as political terrorism, this is similar to what happened in the1930s in Germany, Because in reality, first they came for what they considered the sexual deviants and the criminal classes before they ever started on religious groups and political enemies. So our government is setting the stage to strip everyone’s rights in the name of public safety

I don’t believe that Americans are willingly giving up their constitutional protected freedoms that were granted to us by the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights, but the citizens of this country are in fact through their fear and apathy allowing government to strip them away in the name of community safety. Many of us have said from the beginning that the sex offender registry was a testing ground for government to steal our rights, since then, the government has passed more laws making many more things criminal that were not before and increasing the penalty levels, things that were previously misdemeanors are now felonies. As you may know more classes of people are being added to the registry, how long before your name or a close family member shows up on it?

I went seeking help for myself and my victim, and in that way I turned my self in. I was convicted and sentenced to three years in prison for my crimes. After prison I was lucky enough to be able to get back to work, that was primarily because in the state that I lived in at that time you did not have to register or have community notification if you were still on Post-Prison Supervision. I was able to work my way back up into the my field and end up in a short amount of time as a plant manager for a major local printing company, a situation that wouldn’t have happened if I would’ve been on community notification. Later after completing Post-Prison I moved to another state to take care of my 85 year old father.

About 5 years after my release from prison I remarried, and later, when the laws changed the community was notified. My stepchildren and second wife received harassment, threats, and lost many of their friends, as well as having our property vandalized. After notification finding jobs became more difficult and I ended up taking low-paying jobs to support my family. I have lost two jobs because of the community notification. Although we were not forced to move because of community notification per se, we did move a number of times, simply because we were not accepted by the community, or because of threats coming from the community. We tried to make it work for over 4 years after community notification, because of all the stress and all the problems I am now separated from my second wife and step kids. I am living alone with basically with no local friends and no community contacts, even the local church wants nothing to do with me, I am now ostracized and rejected from society.

After my initial separation from my first family I had hopes of one day at least being able to have some contact with them, even if it was only letters, but Child protective services had other ideas. They forced all members of my family into treatment programs whose only purpose is to make sure that any type of contact never happens. CPS’s goal was to destroy all links between parent and child through the use of their alleged treatment program, unlike Child Sexual Abuse treatment program (CSATP) from Santa Clara county, California, whose goal was treatment of offenders and victims, and family reunification, with the success rate of 92% of the families staying together and a offender re-offense rate of less than 1% over a ten-year period. But since I didn’t know at the time, what CPS was doing,  I set out to change myself.

During the time that I was in prison I involved myself in a number of different programs. I completed more than 2500 hours of voluntary programming to try to make myself into a better person. I completed Breaking Barriers, Breaking Barriers Facilitator training, Pathfinders (a 6 month 7hrs a day 5 days a week program), Franklin Reality’,’New Horizons, ‘S.T.E.P. Program, ‘Parenting 1’ and ‘Parenting 2, ‘S.T.O.P. Orientation’, ‘Correction Treatment Services’, ‘Relapse Prevention Program for Sex Offenders’, and Sex Offender Day Treatment Program’ (lasting 5 ½ a days a week, 7 hrs a day for 6 months), Chuck Colson’s prison ministries program. At different points during that time I came in contact with other inmates within those programs. In the pathfinders program we were encouraged to talk about our offenses and the effects they had on us and others. When we discussed the victims I felt mine was the most serious crime and the most damaging to the victims because it involved my children, and because they would forever carry the mental and emotional scars of my stupid misconduct.

Others told me that mine was not the worst, but that theirs were, one inmate told me that while burglarizing a home he found out that the entire family was home. He tied up the mother and father, and then he tied up the children, I don’t remember how many children, he told them that if they ever reported his crime or pointed him out that he or someone affiliated with him would come back and kill them. He kept them tied up in their laundry room all day long and at different times made threats on their lives until after it got dark and he could leave. During that time, to make his point, he killed their family dog and cut off its head in front of them . He told me that he felt that his crime was much worse, even though he never touched any of the victims other than to tie them up. He felt that they would be traumatized for the rest of their lives.

Another inmate told me of how he had got in a fight outside of the bar. The other person that he was fighting was half drunk and he was not. He beat the person down, and because he was angry he broke a beer bottle and took the jagged points and cut up the man’s face and took out his left eye. His point was that that man will never be able to see, and his family will be traumatized because what had been done to him and they will see it every time that they looked at him. He felt his crime was much worse than mine.

Another inmate was drinking and driving and involved in a car accident. Of the people in the other car the driver, a mother of three, was paralyzed for life, two children were severely injured by flying glass cutting their faces, and the third child almost had their hand severed and will probably never be able to use it. His point was that he thought that he had done more damage, physically ,mentally and emotionally to that family than I had ever done to mine.

Their reasoning was that even though I had committed a terrible crime against my children I had not done it to them because I did not care what happened to them, out of anger, or to threaten or scare them. One of the inmates asked me if I had ever beaten my children, or burned them with cigarettes or intentionally wounded them, or threatened to kill them, to this I honestly answer no. Another asked me if I had ever degraded my children by telling them that they were stupid or worthless, to this I had to answer no also. They asked me if I ever let my children go hungry or without the necessities or refuse to take them to the doctors so that I might have things that I wanted, to this I also answered no. My children’s needs came before mine, except for my sexual needs. Both I and my wife did without many things that we wanted so that the children could have new clothes and presents for birthdays and Christmases and proper things for school . They repeated to me what they had said before that my crime was not as bad as theirs and that I had been trying to be a good parent and had made terrible mistakes.

I am not writing this to justify my actions, because I still feel that my crime against my children is horrendous, and I’m absolutely sure it is devastating to all them. I hope that at no time in their lives, will they ever feel that they let me down or were in any way at fault . After I had been in prison for a while and because of the therapy that they were in they sent me a letter signed by each of them telling me that they never wanted me to have contact with the them again. Even though it has been the hardest thing that I have ever done, I have honored their requests for the last 20 + years, to this day I don’t even Google their names on the Internet. They were the most wonderful family that a person could have, and I’m the one that screwed it up. I have never for one day felt any of them were at fault for my situation and I have never stopped being ashamed of my actions. I know in my heart that I will never see or get to talk to them again, but that hasn’t stopped me loving or caring about them, all that I can do is wish them well within my heart.

After my time in prison I came in contact with two of those inmates. In both cases they were released from prison after me and had longer Post-Prison times than I did. In both cases they only did less than one quarter of their Post-Prison time and were released from it early while I did my full Post-Prison sentence. Since then each of my former inmate friends have been allowed to get on with their lives, while I have had community notification that has made it hard for me to make friends, become involved in the community, find work or housing, or have a stable life with my second family.

Community notification serves no purpose other than to shame the offenders, their families, and  friends, at the same time making all their lives more difficult. People who say community notification makes the community more safe, need to stop and consider that the chance of their children being emotionally or physically harmed by individuals in their family or close friends and people NOT on the registry are as high as 99.87%, .and that the harm will come from somebody on the registry is far less than 1%. The studies have shown that community notification has made our community is less safe, and that the registry has physically and emotionally damaged over 500,000 children of people on the registry not to mention the over 200,000 youth that are on the Registry. The reality is that It has not saved one child, but it has caused the death of literally thousands of children.

The people that support the registry and especially community notification think nothing of allowing their children to get into cars with people that have been convicted drinking and driving, or even using drugs, and they have knowledge of neighbors who are involved in domestic violence, and yet they allow their children to go over to those homes.

Quite honestly it would appear that people are more looking for a scapegoat. Someone that they can point to and say what a terrible person and the people that associate with him must be terrible people also, than out of any true concern for their children’s safety. Because of this my personal viewpoint is that people who support the registry and community notification are either doing that because of misinformation presented to them or because they themselves are bullies, bigots, and sociopaths who enjoy causing pain and suffering for others.

4 comments for “Isn’t the long road hard enough.

  1. Nicholas Maietta
    April 12, 2015 at 11:21 am

    Will, Honesty is one of your greatest assets. Everyone is redeemable and i feel you’ve redeemed yourself. While there are people who can only see a label, i am one of those that label you one of my greatest of friends. Thank you for all that you do in the fight against injustice and thank you for being honest with yourself and those around you in this world. That really does go a long way and will have an impact on people such as myself, even after your time on this earth is up.

  2. April 14, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    Excellent article, Will. Indeed it has long been agreed upon by experts, for example, that using our prison system for punishment only exacerbates the issue. It seems that we are still run by an old guard that refuses to listen to new research that gives better options. These are people who “worked hard from nothing,” “pulled themselves up from their own bootstraps,” and believes “spare the rod spoil the child.” Many Americans were brought up with such beliefs so it doesn’t take much to get folks to follow along. Recently we have some new research from the Univ. of Houston professor Brene Brown on the sociological effects of public shaming: powerful stuff indeed! It seems that altering lifelong belief systems in the American Politician and in the American society is certainly very difficult and happens painfully slow, if at all. It seems the only solution is for them to die off and new people with broader perspectives and open minds replace them. And when one looks at the big picture of what is going on politically in our country (9/11, Middle East, Finance, Congress, etc) you see that this bullying that is going on by the few so seem to be in constant control year after year is permeating our government. I mean how in the world do we expect to achieve anything in the Middle East by killing their innocent families and children? Forcing, punishing, shaming people into change never works and how many Wars now have taught us this? Likewise our social justice reflects this. I think the comparison to Hilter is accurate in that the intention of these laws in certainly to purposefully shame, punish, demoralize people who abuse and harm children and their seems to be no apology for that. (Though at least Hitler killed them rather than grossly shaming them publicly for the rest of their lives…. if you happen to believe in heaven that could be interpreted as the more humane path.) Even though Hitler said “sexual deviants” he meant Jews. Even though our lawmakers say “sex offenders,” they mean “serial, hate-driven, mentally deranged child molesters.” It’s not too difficult to find quotes from lawmakers and citizens that admit their disgust and spew their hatred and wish that even more harm could be done to those that commit crimes against children. They say, “living under a bridge? Good! That’s where they belong!” And I don’t think it would be hard for anyone to understand and sympathize with someone who possesses such hate especially those who have children of their own. The problem of course is that in their fear, panic, and hunger for power they have lost all sense of the tiny percentage of people, mostly men, who commit such crimes. You see, I simply must give those in power the benefit of the doubt. In their minds they are focusing on crimes that are so heinous and terrible, committed by serial criminals of the likes of Bundy, Garavito, and Coniglio. THAT’s who they are focused on and is there anyone who would not agree?? And isn’t obvious that Joe American thinks that’s what a “sex offender” is?” So of course, they mistakenly think that they are somehow preventing things like those heinous crimes from occurring by casting this huge, wide net. They consider it a preventive measure. And like many of their belief systems they are inherently WRONG. Should Jesse Timmendequas have been free in society ? Of course not!! Should he have been put in prison for life? Of course he should have! Does anyone disagree with this?? I don’t this so. But he wasn’t free and he did slip through the proverbial cracks and Megan’s family was logically very pissed about that, so instead of taking the blame lawmakers came up with this registry scheme and that did the trick! It instantly got a LOT of people off a lot of politician’s backs. Mrs. Kanka and Mrs. Wetterling are the first to say how horrible these registries are and how they only make things worse. If “we” were smart we would find a way to get some of these folks on OUR side, find things that we have in common, etc. Because the truth is that, what we want and what they want happens to equal the same thing: safer, better communities for all of us. We may want to consider changing our game plan. Maybe a better fight would be “put the serials in prison for life and leave the rest of us alone!” That would FORCE them to apply research, smart government towards figuring out who indeed, are dangerous to society and then everyone is happy… and safer and better, etc. Difficult problems require smart, sharp, well thought out solutions! In conclusion, I relate some of this to maniacal goings on in my home state. Florida is horribly wrong in the way they are handling this and if the research that we so adamantly use to support our case is correct (and it is), it will mean more dead children and more heinous crimes for Florida. So like the father of an unruly teenager is finally forced to do, we just have to let them do what they have to do. They will have to learn their lesson the hard way. I just hope they pass as many laws as they can and do it quickly. Because the quicker they do it, the worse it will get and the worse it gets the sooner they come to their knees drowning in their hate filled shaming laws and surrounded by even more heinous crimes, asking: “Oh my god what have we done?” And we’ll say, yes what a shame, but we tried to tell you, Florida! Foolish punishments and shaming tactics makes the problem WORSE, not better. That’s why you can’t beat a dog into submission, it just pisses off the dog more!

  3. robin
    April 14, 2015 at 11:49 pm

    Anyone thought of saving the planet. Will I liked your story. I thought of taking the government a run for its money The Petafile Ranch..a government funded ranch in Hawaii where I would take any sex offender and have themworking to
    Save the species it a idea of mine for a long. IV retired but looking for anyone interested cause I always said a non profit organization on a soviorn nation. And ironic ally I’ve been looking for land in hilo Hawaii. And just wanted to retire. Tho lo and behold Hilo is a a soverion nation..wiling to invest in the idea.look me up.

  4. G.Lawsen
    April 21, 2015 at 7:11 am

    I am desperately seeking any type of help! I will soon start a long stent in prison, for a child porn my ex decided too collect using my computer and accounts. I myself was tortured in just about every way imaginable from age 2 till 8. I have lost my career or any chance of a new career. I have been made a pariah in my small town. I have considered suicide many times, because mainly of how this has hurt my loved ones. I can’t get past the fact that the fbi would rather convict me, because it’s easier than going after my ex. So I will be in prison being abused God only knows how, while he walks free to continue his obsession with child porn. I can only pray that he does not progress to contact crimes.

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