The Psychology Behind Making Others the Villain

With all of sexual harassment charges floating around possibly it’s time for us to look at the psychological reason why this is such a touchy subject.

Okay, I don’t know if anybody else sees this, maybe my experiences are different than other people’s, but from my point of view the feminists have opened themselves up to having the pendulum swing the other direction, this could push our society back towards Victorian values of high neck collars and long dresses in the workplace coupled with modern high-tech body cameras on all employees.

First of all I have no problem with women coming forward and complaining about sexual misbehavior by men in power or even men in general, the male ranks need to stop considering any and all females as objects.

The same can be said for the females, is it okay for a woman in the workplace to flirt even though she has no intent of being in a relationship? It is now and has been as long as I can remember the habit of many women to use their feminine wiles to entice men to better their positions or to play with them because it’s fun for the women, at least that is my perspective from being on the receiving end of a bunch of this.

Over the years I have been a supervisor for a number of different companies as well as being a college teacher and a plant manager for a large manufacturing company. In every one of those settings I had female employees or students that answered to me. In most of those situations I had at least one female that acted in a provocative way to me everything from their dress, speech and other minor actions to taking every opportunity to rub their bodies against me. Understand I’m not a handsome man, I’m not even what I would consider good looking, plus I’m basically a shy person, these interactions made me feel extremely uncomfortable, even more so when other male employees would notice it and pointed out to me.

So, how many men in power out there, whether it is just a supervisor or an owner of a company that has had to put up with these advances put out by women, whether the women are doing it to be playful or to make other people uncomfortable or they are actually interested in some type of meaningful relationship or sexual encounter. It really doesn’t matter, these women’s speech and actions in this new world are in fact by the women’s own definition sexual-harassment.

It may be that some women that have been sexually abused have played this game of flirting and got burned for it. Does that make it right for the men to mistreat the females, absolutely not, but there is a certain amount of culpability for the women in some of the situations.

An attempt to rationalize, justify or minimize an individuals own shortcomings or actions towards others is part of the human character, we always want to make the other guy out to be the villain and worse than what our actions have been. the fact that women are coming forward with these complaints is a good thing. but if feminist movement wants equality, which is the way it should be, they will need to be willing to accept that there is a problem with their side of it also. when a person or group tries to find a scape goat without looking at the broad picture of their own actions it can be very telling of their own character. A good example of this is a recent comment:

“I volunteer for the local homeless shelter and while trying to find a bed for one guy (we’re full up), we went to the cafeteria where we both had lunch. Sitting at the table next to us were three guys talking about robbing stores, stealing purses, putting nails under the tires of police cars, beating people up, beating drug tests . . . . then a registrant walked in and they talked about what a monster he was and how they’d like to kill him for raping children. The registrant is 23 and had consensual sex with a 16 year old. I hardly consider him a monster nor a rapist but society has labeled him such and now supports him because no one will give him a job. Then we got on the elevator and a toothless woman who smelled like she hadn’t showered in a month was commenting about the sex offender, I mean, “child molester.”

I just found it sadly humorous that the worse people society has to offer get second chances and even they can pass judgment on someone who is probably a good person but made an error in judgment.

Why is it that arsonists, drug dealers, murderers, gang members, drunk drivers, wife beaters or burglars think that someone who downloads an image of a nude 17 year old is worse than them? One guy was arrested for being high on drugs and shot up a playground. He didn’t hit anyone but hates sex offenders because ???THEY HARM CHILDREN???. All those kids who ran screaming for cover from a hail of bullets . . . they’re not harmed?”

it’s always easier for a person or a segment of society to pass judgment on others making them the villains without ever looking at the harm or damage that they or their group has caused. My hope is that in the current climate that this outlook of looking at the whole picture is not overlooked.

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