He was a Carpenter and a Firefighter and a Sex offender! My Dad.

Please meet the greatest Dad in the world, my father!

He was a good-looking man, strong and tall, he was also brilliant! Oh, let me brag a bit and tell you that he passed on some pretty good traits to his children and he had a pretty cute wife too, that would be my mother. People say that my mother was beautiful, and smart, and bossy and just basically a pain in the neck most of the time, but she was also one of those women who decided that marriage would be a forever deal. It was her love for him that made him a sex offender.

I want to tell you about my dad because I’m hearing that my daddy wouldn’t be allowed to fight fires today. I read about it in the news and I decided to tell you what I know about being the daughter of such a man as my father was!  There are a lot of things I could tell you but one of those stories was about a fire call at about three o’clock in the morning. I remember one early March night when the wind was blowing so hard that it was shaking the street lights, the trees were bending low to the ground, and the windows were rattling in our house, the wind was howling and cold. Back in those days, we had a certain telephone ring for fire and make no mistake about it, that phone would ring loud enough to wake up the dead, the rings were a code and told firefighters the general direction of the fire and this fire was in the country. I heard that my dad was one of many men who fought that fire and lives were saved but nothing else was, the fire burned the house to the ground and much of everything else around it with the wind whipping up the flames. Together the firefighters fought for hours and my dad came home looking like burned charcoal. It wasn’t the first fire that he fought so bravely, and it wouldn’t be the last. He developed lung disease and died, but before he died he told me that he was tired of living not knowing where his next breath was coming from. The smoke from firefighting was not kind to my father, and it’s not kind to any firefighter out there!

But wait! What? Should my dad have been a firefighter folks? Should he have had to die that way? He was a sex offender, what was he doing out there fighting fires? Shouldn’t he be in a cave somewhere with a GPS bracelet strapped to his ankle and wrapped in a blanket with holes, shivering against the cold March wind? I have a couple of caves in mind and I’m sure that he could have found a blanket somewhere! Would he have lived longer if he had never fought a fire? Should I be angry?

He was after all, a sex offender, my father, and by the way, why was he allowed to build homes and, OMG, he was the lead construction carpenter who walked on many of the steel beams of the high-rise buildings in Denver! Think of all the contamination from just touching things that he must have done! Should I be ashamed?

I remember the day he came home and cried, he was sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands, a little two-year-old girl had just died that afternoon, the family called the fire department when their baby had somehow managed to fall into a well. My dad cried on and off for the rest of that afternoon, he said the little girl reminded him of his daughters, especially my little sister who was about the same age. Folks, think about it carefully! Was it my father’s fault that the little girl died? Did his presence with the fire-fighters impede their retrieval of that little girl’s body in some way? Would she would have lived if he hadn’t been there? Should I be ashamed?

If you get this far, you will be surprised to find out why my father was a sex offender, it was a very bad thing that he did! He met my mother at the tender age of seventeen when he was age thirty-three and it was a whirl-wind romance filled with moon-lit nights and all sorts of what my Dad used to call “Whoopy.” Oh my! Yep, he for sure was a sex offender and if most people out there had their way about it, or anything to say about it he would have been in prison and my mother would’ve been raising me alone. Truth is, it’s highly unlikely that my sister would have been born. My sister? A highly intelligent and very gifted woman who doesn’t like sex-offenders, but reality has it that I doubt if she’d like the idea of never being born. She managed to become quite a wealthy woman with a business that most people would die for. She lives up on the hill, I’m sure that you get the picture! Should I be jealous?

Truth! ….. It would have been worse for our family if he would have managed to get a parole, our lives would have been pure hell because he would have been on the registry for life as a tier three! I would have been bullied in school, I wouldn’t have had nice friends, my father wouldn’t have been able to find a good job, and my mother would’ve been supporting us on the salary that she could  have made in the tiny town that we lived in. And, that’s if they would have given her a job and that’s if we could have stayed in our home which is something I doubt very much because I don’t think that my mother could have paid the bills.

Okay, by today’s standards, the world would say that my mother was a little helpless girl of the tender age of seventeen who became a victim because she thought that she was in love with my father, and even worse, remained a victim!  She didn’t get pregnant for ten years but when she did, I was born, and I had a sister later. Together they raised two children who became very independent and do quite well, (my sis is rich!), and then when they were married for thirty six years, he up’d and died of a lung disease that sucked the life right out of him.

You see, a firefighter doesn’t just risk his life when he’s putting out the fires and saving lives. A firefighter is risking his life for the long haul on a bet that he will stay healthy, but my dad lost the bet! Should I be angry? Well, that’s something that you can bet on! But the worst is and please listen up very closely, the worst is that in today’s world you would’ve spit in my father’s face if he would’ve tried to join the fire department to fight your fires and save your kids, and then most likely you would have had the local newspaper shame him and run him out of town right after he saved you and your kids! My dad was a firefighter because he thought that was a good way to help people, he didn’t do it because it was fun and games. Not one man out there who risks their lives trying to save YOU is doing it because they think it’s “fun.”

Am I angry, yeah, I’m angry! To try to force firefighters out of their service and shame them is wrong, wrong, wrong! I don’t care who they are or what their history is! When they are trying to save life and you are shaming them, I’m sorry.

To try to make laws that say these brave men are so evil that they shame you by trying to help you is equally wrong, to say that they cannot be firefighters is as near to the pit of hell that I can think of. It’s a Satan get behind me situation if ever there was one!

I don’t like the way that you have treated my father’s courage and dissed the way that he died!

You can bet I’m angry and you can bet that you haven’t heard the last from me!

12 comments for “He was a Carpenter and a Firefighter and a Sex offender! My Dad.

  1. Alan Davis
    April 10, 2018 at 5:57 am

    Best letter yet in response to the fireman who was elected not once but twice by his department to the position of Fire Chief even though all those in the department knew that his name was on the registry for a crime that he had committed years ago, had served the full punishment for his crime, has moved on with his life, and is now serving his community with honor.

    Yet now, some vigilanti voice from his community is so concerned that a registrant is on the fire department and might actually touch her or her children while carrying them out of their burning house, that she demands that the town force the man to resign from the department. On top of that, this same vigilanti has convinced a legislator that the state needs to change their sex offender laws so that a registrant, heaven forbid, isn’t on a fire department where they might save lives or property.

    This is just about as stupid as a residency restriction law that prevents a registrant from sleeping at his house with his family because it is “too close to a school” even though that same registrant can be at their house during the day to shower, share meals with their family, and tuck their children into bed for the night before they have to leave to sleep on the street or in their car. The residency law requires them to not be at home to sleep during the hours that the school is closed.

    Seriously, these laws have nothing to do with protecting children, but are simply additional ways to shame registrants and cause additional punishment that not only impacts them, but their families and loved ones as well.

    • April 17, 2018 at 5:21 pm

      That is one of the best letters I have read ,you should be very proud of your father he sounded like a very good man thank you for the letter I wish you well and your father raised a very good women

      • kayt
        April 18, 2018 at 8:07 pm

        David, I am very proud of my dad, he was a very good man, and thanks for your kind compliments!

    • kayt
      April 18, 2018 at 8:14 pm

      Thanks Alan, I’m not going to give up on that Pennsylvania situation! You’re so right that the RSO laws have nothing to do with protecting children and in fact, it’s obvious that as collateral victims that we didn’t choose to be in, the public is doing everything possible to destroy our children’s minds, and lives.

      But then, I see how the public is out to destroy Trump, and maybe with good cause because the Lord in heaven knows that he did a bunch of things that he shouldn’t have. I wonder how all of this will affect his children, and especially his young son? I wonder if his son is being bullied in school, or if people are simply shunning him, or maybe as I read with Chelsea Clinton, the students may be mature enough to try to protect Trump’s son.

      So, where does that leave us? Does it make us stronger? Does it make our children stronger? I think it could if we work for that end.

  2. April 17, 2018 at 1:28 pm

    The Public is the one that hangs you, without the whole story, whitout all the facts, without the background or why it possibly occurred.
    I was a FF in a abashed hanging State in a microscoped life. Of all States, I chose the toughest one to survive it in without forgiveness.
    I was a volunteer for the church, I was the one way younger than this man loving a minor. the same age. Rather one would say…
    en Italia, call me by my name in the reverse as I am gay en la older role…I did not hunt but he came to me. I did not offer a bag
    of candy nor hang in school parking lots or areas rich of students pre nor after school. I am damned for life for loving another.
    Not a child but rather seven years difference in a public safety setting. Shame at me for being the teen young adult making the
    poor decision to not STOP the relationship of over fourty years ago today. My I gather the noose to punitively punish myself for ever.
    Thanks to Politicians and not FACTS including the biggest and most powerful courts in the land for following fear and public disqust.
    For double sword of homosexualty and religion on NON Forgiveness and the hatred and IGNORANCE of others to understand,
    let alone to look at an individual rather than a quiet witch hunt to throw all under one umbrella in one of the populace States in the US
    No Rehabilitation the State claims iniates post prison or incarceration, but continual denial of employment and integration back in
    Society of the normal acceptance of others that mame, kidnap, murder and set arson, run over by alcohol and drugs but place the
    sexual offender up higher than any other criminal in society today of the disgusted and ignorant and the uneducated to tortue you.
    NOT ALLOWED to seek gainful employment or to educate thy self for furtherment and career goals is destined like most RC’s to fail.

    • kayt
      April 18, 2018 at 8:22 pm

      Dear “Coffee”, you didn’t leave a name 🙂

      I’m sorry for things that happened to you. I was working in a large city about 40 years ago and was privileged to talk with a gay man who told me a lot of things that I might not know about otherwise. What I do understand is that 40 years ago the attitudes of everyone was different toward sex and almost everything else.

      I understand that you’re being anonymous, but I do hope that you are part of our Sosen family and if you’re not, I hope that you join. Support is everything!

  3. D.D.
    April 18, 2018 at 1:04 pm

    I’m a sex offender and I have a wife and a daughter. Despite how difficult society has made things for us, we have a great family life. I cherish my daughter and am dedicated to her healthy development and education. One day she will know my status, and she’ll be hurt to know much I have suffered for it. But I know she will love me for the way I protected her and raised her to become a healthy and happy person.

    Thank you for writing your story 🙂

    • kayt
      April 18, 2018 at 8:05 pm


      I appreciated your “thank you” for writing my story. I want to tell you that yes, your daughter will grow up to understand and to love you and the reason is because you love her!

  4. hamilton
    April 19, 2018 at 5:51 am

    your story was amazing!! your story gives us all hope like most of our stories would give others hope also!! i was given advice by a pastor once. it was dont let your offense define you as a person!! bc of this story i can see a national movement!! ill start it. im a husband, father, marine and a rso!!

    • kayt
      April 19, 2018 at 11:22 am

      Dear hamilton,

      I’m glad that you can start it and proudly say that you are a husband, a father, a marine and a rso!

      A while back some of us started calling rso’s registered citizens, so don’t forget that you are a citizen!

      Thank you for your kind remarks! Your pastor was 100% correct and nothing proved that to me more than last fall when I became the physical victim of vigilantes. At first, it nearly wrecked my little ship, it wasn’t the first time that we’ve dealt with vigilantes, but it was the worst for me as a woman alone, and in a very personal way. So, after a few weeks, I realized that I was becoming stronger than I’ve ever been before, and I decided that I’ll fight back as hard as I possibly can. One of those ways is with words, a talent that seems to be growing every day, and I am now in law school. I knew that I had accumulated education and credits over my lifetime, but who knew that I could do this? And it only took one too many vigilantes in my life! So, yes I agree that we need a national movement and we need to be in this, all of us together.

      Like others, I know that you’re being anonymous, and so am I, but I don’t know if you are a Sosen member, if you aren’t, please join. We are a family of RSO’s who really do care about one another and like I’ve said before, support is everything!

      • April 22, 2018 at 12:49 pm

        How do i join or become a member?

        • Will Bassler
          April 22, 2018 at 7:38 pm

          Cheryl on our front page SOSEN.org there is a button that says JOIN if you click on it you will be taken to a sign up page, fill out the information on that page. Understand we do ask for a contact phone number this is because before anyone can be allowed onto our secure private forums we have a telephone interview with the person, after that interview your phone number will be deleted.

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